We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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