Whod you bang
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
