where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
