i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
