Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
