You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need to align my fucking chakras
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
