I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's the barista slut.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
