god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
