Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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