Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
