I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
