I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
