I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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