I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
