Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
