So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
