I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
