I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
