I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
