i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
