I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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