I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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