She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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