You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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