I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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