He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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