whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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