They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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