DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
being pregnant is like rehab
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
