do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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