i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
