i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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