so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
