i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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