So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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