she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Houston, we have a squirter
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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