the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dignity is for republicans.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
