i think my tv is drunk
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize