fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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