It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
