the condom got lost in my hair
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
