I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
