Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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