So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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