So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
