I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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