I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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