i think my mom watched the whole time
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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