omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
ttyl tear gas
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
