$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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