oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sorry about my life...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
