420 ftw
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
