i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
