You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
