Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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