woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize