you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
