Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
