PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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