I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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