How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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