I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
