Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
