haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
