Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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