And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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