I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
