Porn is love you can see.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize